1) use 1/4 stick of dynamite duct taped to the lid, set off in an open field
2) place the jar on a fence post at 20 paces, shoot with large calibre gun
3) secure the lid to your car with duct tape, secure the jar to the road, take off
4) throw that jar away, learn to make sauce yourself
But the one thing you will never, ever do as a man, is ask a woman to open the jar
You know I just thought about this more. Wrap the entire jar in duct tape then freeze the entire jar of sauce and lid with liquid nitrogen, you could crack the lid and jar off, easily remove the glass fragments that are somewhat still bound together with duct tape. Then put the frozen sauce globule (jar shaped still) in a pan to heat. Be careful to use protection in picking up the frozen sauce globule.
This has the added benefit of using both duct tape and liquid nitrogen. The man coolness factor is off the scale.
MacGyver would have to manufacture his own cutting torch using 3 matches, a shoestring, aluminum filings, and a caulking gun. Then I am sure it would involve duct tape and the properties of some obscure household item. But there is no doubt it would be cool, innovative, and have just enough credibility to make it sound possible.
This hand technique you speak of to open the jar, does it involve danger or explosives? I can't see its advantage unless there is some danger or science involved.
Hmmm...
I suppose that if it stated differently it has an appeal....
The elusive spaghetti sauce jar. When seen in captivity, they appear harmless and even lethargic. But here in the wilds of the modern kitchens, their natural aggression lurks just beneath the surface. Its simple glass body is docile when content, but should the jar be broken, those smooth sides instantly becom razor sharp deadly talons. Capable of slashing through your body muscle, tendon, and sinew, the jar can turn from domestic to destructive in a moment. Its unrelenting terror could render you helpless in a heart beat. And its sharp pointed daggers of glass could rip your throat right out.
What's this? We see a woman entering the kitchen... I think she is going to attempt to capture and open the jar of sauce. She is circling, circling, the jar is unmoved oddly enough with all this danger to its contents. At last! She seizes it with both hands!
She is now in a desperate struggle with the jar beast. She is trying desperately to force the lid off. But this is no ordinary jar of sauce and it is reluctant to give up its contents. Oh wait! She has called a male of the pack to come help. She is handing off the jar to the male...
They are struggling! It looks like we may see those razor sharp daggers at any time. But wait!!!!!! The male has the jar wrestled into submission now. He places his hand on the lid... yes... he definitely has his hand on the lid...
This could be it... Yes! He is turning the lid the full 90 degrees! And he has done it!!!!
Oh look! It is a bit gruesome to watch... but the female is now pouring out the insides of the jar of sauce into a pan. Oh Lord! The humanity! She has drained every drop from the jar and tossed it in the trash can.
And that is how males view opening the jar of spaghetti sauce
quote: ORIGINAL: <name removed>
quote:
Goobers, all of you!
join me next week when i incorporate power tools and home-made explosives to my aunt's famous mac and cheese recipe.
mmm, i'm sure i'll have lots left over, i am single. any takers?
That's Pro Goobers.
Macaroni and cheese. This could be a challenge... some appropriate containment strategies will have to be employed. I'll put together a dossier and notify the CIA.
I will file the flight plan with NASA. This should be interesting.
I just got a shipment of titanium wire in. Been looking for a good use for it. I think maybe we could use it to create a suspension rig for the magnetic rail gun to project the jar.
quote: ORIGINAL: <name removed>
Give me a can instead. Not a jar, a can. Actually three of them.
1.) Pork & Beans.
2.) Stag Chili.
3.) Canned Green Beans (preferably Green Giant brand).
Ah. Cans. Multiple. I see a home made mortar or cannon requirement. Man, 3 of them. How to get them all opened and combined at once. Now that will have be a clever trick.
Or maybe I am over-complicating this. Perhaps an old-fashioned trebuchet would do the trick. But we need to simmer, that means heat.... hmmm... AHA! Greek fire!
Oh yeah, this could be good. I will need my hard hat for this one.
quote: ORIGINAL: <name removed>
src="http://forums.crosswalk.com/upfiles/smiley/icon_smile_yikes.gif" alt="" align="middle" border="0" /> Spaghetti sauce, broken glass, and explosives. My oh my. The only thing missing is a torch. Ladies, isn't this why we don't let the guys in the kitchen unless they behave?
Did someone say they needed a torch? I have oxyacetylene, propane, and in a pinch, I can rig an oxygen tank together up with other flammable sources. Or do you just need the plain old "there's the ogre, grab your torch and pitchforks" kind of torch? I can soak some old rags in kerosene if you want.
All you ladies need to do is ask. When it comes to pyrotechnics, we men will try to oblige.
quote: ORIGINAL: <name removed>
quote: ORIGINAL: neuronstatic
You mean you guys don't have your OWN jaws of life? Weird.
I stupidly, stupidly lent my to a friend and now when I tell him I want it back, he gets all staticy on the phone like he doesn't have signal. And then I don't hear from him for awhile. What do you think this means?
It means it is time for some explosives to extricate said item from friend's domicile. Or just eliminate the domicile. Either works for me. I still get to wear my hard hat either way.
First off, I haven't figured out WHY you want to take the tire tracks off the entree. I mean, its like a garnish or something. Part of the presentation.
Oh man, a shop welder. Wow, that could be used to cook the meat by electrocution, or to build a custom rig to roast the roadkill on a spit. So many possibilities.
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